Misinterpretion
by SironaFlett .o.x.o
Summary: Alice is 9. Alice stumbles into wonderland. Only... It is very different from how Lewis Carrol made it out to be... Features all the favourite characters Syfy style. Please review.
1. Chapter 1

Alice was resting by the tree, her blue eyes fluttering in the warm summer air. Her pet cat nuzzling at her apron and the large tree was providing a shade. Her mother and sister were inside their large country home having tea. Tea came from India. Alice liked knowing these facts. They made her feel smarter. She thought that she was smart. She thought that she was very smart considering her age. Her father was out with a business associate… A writer, she had been told. She liked writers. But more importantly she liked books. The kitten moved restlessly on her lap before jumping up and running away. Hazily, Alice opened her eyes and saw Kitty chasing after a tall man with white hair tied into pigtails. She stood up and followed Kitty.

"Kitty!" She cried. "Leave the man alone!"

Alice decided that the man looked like a rabbit. That was the only way to describe him. She hurried after him as he quickly made his way through the trees.

"Hey!" She cried. "Wait!" For you see, the man had dropped his pocket watch. Alice held it in her hand for a second, an engraving of a rabbit on the back. She leapt to the conclusion that this man was called 'Rabbit'. "Oh, Mr Rabbit!" She cried, running after him. "Mr Rabbit sir, you dropped your watch!"

The Rabbit man did not stop. He continued through the trees as they became thicker and denser. Alice liked that word… Denser…

"Oh Mr Rabbit!" She called again, almost tripping over one of the many trunks that were spindling from the ground, getting higher and higher. So much so that little Alice could walk under them without needing to fold her head against her chest. Mr Rabbit seemed to disappear around one of the trees. She followed him. How strange that a grown man would play hide and seek with her? Though pity, she had not been informed that it was hide and seek… What a silly thing to do, to play hide and seek with one and not tell the other that they were playing the game. It did not give the other a fair chance.

Alice crept around the tree, pushing her blonde hair from her face. "Curious!" She said. "Mr Rabbit seems to have disappeared! Oh – but I must return his watch, for he will never know the time if he does not have his pocket watch!"

She hurried around the tree further, but stumbled in her footing and fell. And she did not stop falling. She continued to fall. Around her objects seemed to fly by. A mirror was edging towards her, brass and ornate. Alice held out her hand as to stop herself from falling and breaking it, because she knew that would give her 7 years bad luck. But she did not break the mirror. Quite the contrary, she seemed to pass through it as though it was water. Then her falling seemed to quicken a great deal. She felt dizzy.

"Oh," She said. "I do hope that I am not sick! I wouldn't like to ruin Mr Rabbit's nice things!" She moved past the many books falling faster and faster until she hit soft ground.

She stood up and wiped her dress down, muddy from where she fell. She looked around, her eyes glazing over the landscape. It certainly was strange. Huge concrete buildings that towered, like a city, the ground beneath her feet suspended above ground. So far up that little Alice was scared. She clung to the trees, hoping that she wouldn't fall.

There was a scurrying of feet and Alice saw Mr Rabbit run around the buildings. He stopped and patted his coat pocket.

"Oh Mr Rabbit!" Alice cried running up to him. "You dropped your watch!"

Mr Rabbit turned. He took the watch from her and looked at her carefully. "You are not from here."

"No," Alice said. "I'm from Kensington, London."

"London?" Mr Rabbit said.

"Yes, but I sometimes spend time at my country home… My father has a country home you see! My father is Charles Kingsleigh,"

"Charles Kingsleigh?"

"Oh, so you have heard of my father?"

"No," Mr Rabbit peered closer, his blue eyes sparkling. "Are you an oyster?"

"I beg your pardon?" Alice said affronted. "I am _not _and oyster! How dare you say such a thing?"

Mr Rabbit peered at her. "Not an oyster?"

"Not an oyster," Alice said adamantly.

"I have no time to talk to a child." Mr Rabbit said.

"Oh but please, have you seen my kitten?" Alice asked, following him slightly worried of the height to which she might fall.

"Your kitten?"

"Yes, her name is Kitty!"

"Highly original," Said Mr Rabbit. Alice frowned. She did not recognise the tone that he was using.

"Mr Rabbit," She said. "I do believe that you are being very rude."

"And I do believe that you are holding me up from my meeting with the Queen!" Mr Rabbit said annoyed.

"You know the Queen?" Alice asked, inquisitive. "How do you know the Queen?" Alice had read about the Queen before. She had heard that the Queen liked to sit and have cups of tea with her 5 daughters. Alice wanted very much to play with the Queen's daughters. "They must have the best toys," She wondered out loud.

"What?" Mr Rabbit said.

"I said that they must have the very best of toys," Alice repeated a little louder.

"Who?" Mr Rabbit asked.

"The Queen's daughters!" Alice said indignantly. "My, have you been living under a rock these past years?"

"Why on earth would I be living under a rock?" Mr Rabbit asked, rolling on his feet, anxious to get away but not willing to break the young girls' heart.

"I don't know," Alice wondered. "It's what my mother always says when I do not know anything,"

"The Queen does not have any daughters," Mr Rabbit said. "The Red and White Queens do not have children, and the Queen of hearts has one son."

"You have to meet all three Queens?" Alice wondered. "My, you must be busy. Thank goodness none of them have a King by their side."

"Oh they all have Kings," Mr Rabbit said. "I have to go now,"

"Please, Mr Rabbit," Alice said rushing after him. "I need to know where my kitten is! I can't go home without her!"

"Which thusly brings me to my next point," Mr Rabbit said. Alice did not know what 'thusly' meant but she knew that her father used it and it was a big important word that many grown-ups liked to use.

"Yes?" Alice asked.

Mr Rabbit stared at her. "Never mind," He said. "Go home,"

"Which way is home?" Alice asked.

"Don't you know where you are?" Mr Rabbit asked.

"Why, some sort of strange land," Alice guessed. "I assume I am dreaming,"

Mr Rabbit smiled. "No," he said. "You are in Wonderland."

**Reviews? Anyone?**


	2. Chapter 2

Alice stared at Mr Rabbit as he darted away. She stood pondering what he had said. She was trying to place Wonderland in her head, whether or not she had seen it in any of her geography books. But no such place came to her mind. Whether or not the place existed, Alice did not know. She needed to ask her father when she returned home. She walked on, looking for Mr Rabbit and Kitty. Not looking where she was going she accidently walked into someone.

"No!" He cried, grabbing her hand, stopping her from falling from the streets. He pulled her across.

"Thank you," She said.

"You're very much welcome," He replied, looking out as something fell from his hands. "Hold on," He said. He gave her the boxes he was holding before disappearing completely. Alice blinked confused. He had just vanished into thin air. Then, before her eyes he reappeared in front of her, holding a tiny box. He put in the larger box Alice was holding before taking it back from her.

Alice observed that he was a smaller man no older than 16 with a big grin across his face. His ears stuck out slightly and he wore a stripy suit. He looked extremely silly. But his nose was pointed and almost feline.

"I'm Alice." Alice announced.

"Cheshire," The boy replied.

"Like the cat?" Alice asked.

"No," Cheshire said.

"What are those?" Alice asked, nodding towards the box.

"Oh," Cheshire looked down at the box. "It is a present for Hatter,"

"Hatter?" Alice asked. "Does he make hats?"

"No," Cheshire said. "Why would he make hats?"

"You said his name is Hatter," Alice replied confused.

"Yes I did," Cheshire replied.

"How did you do that?" Alice asked.

"You ask a lot of questions," Cheshire said.

"You avoid telling me the answers," Alice said folding her arms.

Cheshire let out a laugh. "Yes I do, don't I?" He wiped his eyes. "Do what?" He asked.

"Disappear?" Alice said.

"Oh, anyone can disappear if they just think they can," Cheshire said.

"Why are you taking those things to Hatter?" Alice asked.

"He likes his tea."

"He likes tea?"

"Why?" Cheshire asked. "Do you like Tea?"

"I love tea," Alice said. "But mother never lets me drink it, she thinks it's too old for me."

"Would you rather be too old or too young?" Asked Cheshire.

Alice pondered for a minute. "Old," She said finally. "Then I could do all the things old people do and not be told off for it,"

"Why?" Cheshire asked. "I mean, when you're younger, you can speak the nonsense and not have anyone look bad at you,"

Alice shook her head. "Until your tutor hits you around the knuckles with a stick because you are being silly,"

"Then you are going to the wrong schools," Cheshire said indignantly.

Alice frowned. "I don't think so,"

Cheshire stared at her. "Come, meet the Hatter,"

"But what if he doesn't like me?" Alice asked.

Cheshire cleared his throat, manoeuvring the box carefully as to take her hand. "He will," He assured her. "I am certain of it." He stopped, pausing for a second. "Are you an oyster?" He asked.

Alice became very annoyed at this. "Why? Do I look like an Oyster?" She asked. "If I am an oyster then I shall tell you so when I say my name. Otherwise it is rude to ask,"

Cheshire looked hurt. "I apologise,"

"I sincerely hope so," Alice said, fuming slightly. "Now, may we go to Hatters?"

"I must tell you that he is quite mad," Cheshire said fondly.

"I do not care," Alice said. "I have met many mad things here today and I shall like to meet Hatter and have a tea party with him."

Cheshire grinned. "Follow me then," With that he slowly disappeared, fading away into nothing, his grin suspended in mid-air. Then, that too disappeared. Alice stood, ready to cry before saying angrily to herself.

"No, I musn't cry, only baby's do that,"

"Well?" Asked a familiar voice. Alice looked over wiping the tear from her eye. Cheshire was standing a few feet away from her. "Come along, Alice dear,"

Alice wiped her eyes and got up. She followed Cheshire through the deserted streets.

"Where is everyone?" She wondered out loud. "It seems awfully strange to have so many buildings and so little people."

"Market is closed," Cheshire replied. "There is normally a market."

"I know," Alice sighed. "I used to go to the Market in London with my father."

"You don't any more?" Cheshire asked.

"No," Alice said sadly. "We never get to go anymore,"

"I feel bad for you," Cheshire said. "My father used to take me and Hatter to the Market, then we got too old and had to come on our own."

"But you are older," Alice said following him. "Surely you can manage going to the market on your own,"

"Alas, it should be that easy," Cheshire said. "But Hatter and I… Well… We are different."

"How different?" Alice asked.

"Very." Cheshire grinned. He stopped suddenly. "Stay hidden," He ordered. Alice was very confused. Stay hidden? From who? Cheshire put the box he was carrying down before turning slowly on the spot. A woman had appeared from nowhere and sat on a metal canister. Cheshire sighed. "What are you doing here?"

The woman let out a puff of her smoke. "I hope you're not smuggling oysters to see the Hatter," She said. "He won't be happy, Chess,"

Cheshire turned to Alice. "You are an oyster?" He asked.

"No I am not!" Alice cried. "Will people please just stop saying that!"

Cheshire was pulling something from his pocket. "Here," He said, pushing it towards her. "Drink this,"

"What is it?" Alice asked.

"Just drink it." Cheshire said. "If the Queen of Hearts' men see you, then you are a dead oyster."

Alice took the tiny bottle from him and uncorked it. "Does it make me disappear?" She asked.

"Sort of," Cheshire replied.

Alice did not like the sound of that. She hesitated, bringing it to her lips and drinking. It tasted of cherry cake and lemon and other unusual flavours that leapt on her tongue. She like it very much and eagerly drunk it.

"Not all of it!" Cheshire said, taking it from her. Alice had an odd feeling in her stomach. She looked at Cheshire before she realised that she was rapidly getting smaller. Cheshire picked her up and place her in his pocket.

"Why must I not be seen by the Queen of Hearts?" Asked Alice as Cheshire turned to the woman.

"Mouse, you won't say I was here, will you?" He asked.

"Even if I wanted to," Mouse said calmly, taking another drag of her cigarette. "Do take care of Alice would you?"

Cheshire seemed to grow red with rage. He shook his head and picked up his box before suddenly the view around her disappeared and she found herself staring out into an alleyway that was new and unfamiliar to her.

"Why must I hide from the Queen of Hearts?" She asked.

"She operates the House of Cards," Cheshire said, picking up pace and not looking down at his pocket.

"And the House of Cards are?" Alice urge him.

Cheshire looked down at her at last. "I am not the one to tell you about it, Alice dear," He said. "I think, rather, you should speak to Hatter. He knows much more that any of us,"

"But is he not your age?" Alice asked.

"You don't need age to be knowledgeable," Cheshire said wisely.


	3. Chapter 3

Alice, still stuck in the pocket of Cheshire, was carried into a gleaming white building with the words "Tea Shop" written in elegant letters over the door. She liked the look of the tea shop. She could very happily stay there. Cheshire moved by the many stalls of people who sat sipping tea from their tea cups. Cheshire nodded at an individual who was selling the teas, a mousy haired man with a thickset moustache and heavy coat. He seemed to be falling asleep. Cheshire moved to the back of the shop and opened a door. Alice was stunned to see what was inside.

Tall grass spindled from the floor instead of carpet or hardwoods. Flowers were growing speedily and murmuring to themselves as they did so. At the end there were two gentlemen, barely older than teenagers, and both sipping tea. One of them had dark black hair sticking out from under a pork-pie hat. Dark circles around his eyes and pursed lips and he wore an ugly looking shirt that was untied at the top and a loose tie. His trousers were a dark maroon colour and his shoes were leather boots. Alice thought he looked really silly. The other boy was wearing a sharp suit with sandy brown hair that lay flat across his head.

"Chess," The boy with the hat said. "We thought you weren't coming!"

Cheshire put the box down on the table and then, carefully, he picked Alice up from his pocket and set her on the table.

"Who's that?" The sandy haired boy asked. He had an unusual accent. Alice had to conclude that it was somewhat American.

"This is Alice," Cheshire said proudly.

"Is she an oyster?" The boy with the hat asked.

"I don't know," Cheshire said admittedly. "She said that she wasn't."

"Looks like an oyster," The sandy haired boy said.

"Well, I'm not," Alice said, folding her arms.

The sandy haired boy got up in a flash and Cheshire was suddenly pinned up against the wall. He was holding a knife and pointing it at Cheshire's throat.

"You brings an oyster here and you expect us to be okay with it?" He hissed.

The boy with the hat got up.

"She's not an oyster," Cheshire said. "I think she's something else."

"A likely story!" The sandy haired boy replied, digging the knife deeper across Cheshire's throat.

"I swear!"

"March," Said the hatted boy, placing a hand on the other boys' shoulder. "What would Cheshire want with an oyster?"

"To sell to the Queen of Hearts!" Hissed March.

"Don't be stupid," The hatted boy said. "The Queen of Hearts is a wannabe celebrity. She will come to mean nothing," Alice frowned, she had never heard of that word. This world was mad, so she quietly supposed that they would make up their own languages too.

March seemed to struggle. His desire to hurt Cheshire had diminished. There was a snapping of knuckles and he looked down to see that the hatted boy was cracking the knuckles to his right hand. His eyes widened in some fear. He fell back and tucked his knife back into his pocket. The hatted boy led March back to the table before turning to Cheshire.

"Thank you Hatter," Cheshire said, rubbing his neck.

Hatter nodded before moving back to the table. "I assume that she wasn't always this size?" he asked.

"Mouse,"

"Ah," Hatter paused for a moment, looking thoughtful. "Give me a second," He moved to the back of the room opening a tiny door and picking out something. He moved back and gave it to Alice. "Eat this," He ordered.

Alice took the cake from Hatter's hand, though she was too small to hold it without toppling over. She bit into it and chewed. She took another bite and suddenly she felt as if she was growing. She jumped down from the table. Hatter looked quite satisfied with himself before sitting down.

"Would you like a cup of tea?" He asked.

"Yes please," Alice said.

"Today," Hatter said, shifting some space so that she could sit next to him. "We are celebrating our unbirthday,"

"Unbirthday?" Alice asked. She had never heard of a more ridiculous thing. "Don't you mean, 'birthday'?"

"He means what he says," Snapped March. Hatter held out his hand to shush him. March fell silent.

"Well," He said, grabbing a teapot and pouring some into a tea cup for Alice. "We seem to think it's silly that we only celebrate our living one day every year. Surely, we should celebrate being alive _every _day of the year."

"You see?" Cheshire said sitting down opposite March who was nursing a tightly drawn fist.

"I suppose," Alice said. "But what happens when you have a birthday?"

"Then you rest," Hatter said simply. "It can be rather tiring to celebrate yourself every day,"

"Then…" Alice frowned. "It must be my unbirthday too!"

"It is?" Cheshire said. "Oh, well a very happy Unbirthday!" He cried.

"And to you!" Alice said.

"And to you!" Hatter said to Alice before looking at March. His smile seemed to fade. "Drink up!" Alice lifted the tea to her lips. Why it was the most delicious thing that she had ever tasted! She drank it very quickly before asking the Hatter for more.

Hatter smiled and poured her another cup. Alice drank again.

"Who is the Queen of Hearts?" She asked.

"She doesn't know the Queen?" March stood up and grabbed Cheshire from his seat flinging him back. Hatter got up at once. "WHO THE HELL IS SHE CHESHIRE?"

"March!" Hatter shouted. "Will you calm down?"

"She doesn't know who the Queen is!" March shouted. "She's an oyster."

"She's led a sheltered life is all!" Cheshire squeaked.

"A sheltered life?" March said. He pulled out his knife again. Cheshire stared at it a terrified look in his eyes. Then he smiled, and slowly he began to disappear. March stepped back. "WHERE ARE YOU, LOWLIFE SCUM?"

March didn't see Hatter behind him. March didn't see Hatter reach out. Alice watched as Hatter pulled March away and then there was the loud crunch of bone hitting bone. March fell back. Alice looked over. He slumped against the wall without so much as a grunt. Hatter stared at him.

"Come on," He said, taking Alice's hand. "I think I should take you home."

"Did you kill him?" Alice asked, timidly.

"No," Hatter replied.

Alice came to the conclusion that the Hatter was quite mad.

Hatter looked around. "Chess! You can stop hiding!"

Cheshire appeared and sat down at the table. "All this fighting is putting me off my tea." He grumbled.

Hatter chose to ignore the comment.

"Is it not my favourite lunatics," Said a calm voice. Hatter and Alice turned to see Mr Rabbit advancing towards them.

Hatter did not relax. "Hello." He said.

"Hatter, I'm looking for your father, where is he?" Mr Rabbit asked.

Hatter shrugged. "Dunno."

"You don't know… Or don't care?" Mr Rabbit asked.

"Both," Hatter replied. "He's probably in the back."

Mr Rabbit nodded and upon seeing Alice, upturned his nose. Hatter sighed. "I'm taking her home."

"Oh, I don't think so," Mr Rabbit said. "I told white Queen and she wants to meet her."

"I'm nothing special." Alice cried. "Why would a Queen want to meet me?"

Mr Rabbit looked down. "It's because you're nothing special that she wants to meet you."


End file.
